February 05th, 2019

Those of you who know me can attest to my love for planning, order, and organization. The same is true for my husband. And - for better or worse - we have passed these traits down to our daughter. After returning from the second of two back-to-back weekend vacations, our daughter announced at the dinner table, "Isn't it so nice to get back into routine?!"

As much as her father and I love travel, we couldn't disagree. Reliable rhythms are important to us. Weekends, in particular, follow a schedule that bring us great joy: Poetry Saturdays, Dance Party Sundays, and relaxing afternoons with neighbors in the courtyard are something to which we all look forward.

On a recent weekend, the weather prevented a courtyard outing, so we brought the playdate into our home. While my daughter and her friend invented their own imaginary worlds, I started preparing dinner. An hour later, the friend's father arrived, with his son in tow, to pick her up. The girls pleaded for "five more minutes" to finish up their latest adventure, and we offered our neighbor a glass of wine. Not much time had passed when his wife arrived, wearing their third child, to check on the status. As I poured her a glass I heard myself say, "Would you all like to stay for dinner?" 

I didn't know whether to be delighted or terrified when they accepted. What followed was utter chaos as we attempted to stretch our three-person menu to accommodate our new party of eight. Mixing bowls and cutting boards cluttered the countertops. Dishes piled precariously high in the sink. Energetic kiddos ran rampant at volumes rarely heard in our home...

But the spontaneous nature of the gathering overrode the pressures of perfectionism. We hastily threw together a snack plate to keep everyone sated while we worked. Our neighbor disappeared and returned with cheese and wine to share. Laughter filled the air.

When everything was ready, we sat down to a table set with mismatched plates and napkins. By the end of the evening, the floor was littered with crumbs. But a lovely evening was enjoyed by all. One spontaneous invitation yielded a wonderful opportunity to connect with people whose company we enjoy and offered a glimpse into a different way of being that felt at once both exhilaratingly novel and surprisingly comfortable.

At the forefront of a new year, I am aiming to experience more of this. To be more spontaneous. To extend - and accept - more invitations for impromptu connections. To leave more uncommitted windows in our family calendar and let go - if only occasionally - of the plans and routines that ground us.

How about you? What would it look - and feel - like to let go of the tight grip you wield over your schedule? To extend an invitation before mapping out a menu? To accept a last-minute offer of a glass of wine or cup of coffee? Can you allow yourself to explore spontaneity?